


All my roads lead to you

by firefright



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Car Sex, M/M, Past Character Death, Pseudo-Incest, References to Child Prostitution, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefright/pseuds/firefright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a routine they have, something secret, private and never spoken of outside the fact.</p><p>Brothers don't do the things they do.</p><p>(In which there is Dick, Jason, sex in a car and the precursor to tragedy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, Jason is 15 and Dick 19 in this.

There's a routine they have, something secret, private and never spoken of outside the fact.

On the rare days that Dick is in town he volunteers to pick Jason up from school in Alfred's place, using the excuse of saving the old butler a job and getting in some extra bonding time with his baby brother to win his way. That's the lie.

The truth is that, once Jason's in the car and they're outside the school gates, instead of making the left towards Gotham's outskirts and 1007 Mountain Drive Dick turns right, taking them to an empty little parking lot hidden up a nearby side road; one that's surrounded by abandoned buildings waiting to be torn down and safe from prying eyes.

There he puts the car into park, turns off the engine and looks at Jason with a gaze that is anything but brotherly. Brothers don't do the things they do. They don't do _this_.

Jason's underneath Dick, who looms over him in a way that makes his heart want to beat right out of his chest as their mouths slip and slide against each other, tongues stroking wetly. The older boy is undeniably the one with more skill but Jason's not exactly clueless either, he knows enough to keep up. Better yet, he knows how to do the things that happen past kissing - though Dick likes it more when he pretends that he doesn't, when Jason fumbles and whimpers and lets his big brother act like the teacher in all things sexual.

Reminding him of what Jason had to do on the streets to survive before Bruce took him in always breaks the mood, makes Dick's eyes turn sad and his mouth pinch at the corners. It makes the guilt he carries about wanting his fifteen year-old brother overwhelm him so they end up doing nothing at all. 

Jason hates that. So he fumbles, he whines, and it's really not that hard an act to follow because Dick is _good_ at this and far more considerate about getting his little brother off than any of the johns ever were. The first few times they were together they didn't even manage to get undressed, coming solely through the hard friction of grinding against each other through their clothes and Dick's hand squeezing his ass. 

Practice makes perfect though, and now they've almost got it down to an art form. The nice shirt Jason wears to his preppy high school like it'll make the rich kids like him any better is unbuttoned all the way down, pushed over his shoulders but not completely off, just enough to comfortably restrict the motion of his arms. His jeans and underwear hang off one ankle and he moans, gripping at the sleek leather of the back seat as Dick's mouth moves down to travel wetly over his smooth chest, sucking at his nipples and leaving marks over his ribs where no one else will see. "Dick..." he gasps, "Dick..."

There's fingers between his legs, cruelly ignoring his needy cock as they push inside, moving in and out, in and out and he wants to cry at how good it is, beg Dick to hurry up. He could if he wanted, could scream and shout because there's no one around to hear them but he doesn't, biting back the urge out of shame and pride and not wanting Dick to know just how badly he wants him. As if he didn't already.

It's good that Jason's still short enough that the cramped space of the back seat isn't too uncomfortable, he can more or less get his back flat and still leave room for Dick to sit between his legs to fuck him (sometimes, other times, Dick is the one who reclines against the leather and Jason climbs onto his lap, rides him for all he's worth until the older boy is snarling and swearing).

"Come on, Jay," he hears Dick murmur encouragingly and Jason bucks at the roughness of his voice, another choked-off whimper sliding through his clenched teeth. "You look so good, God, you look so good like this."

Speared on Dick's fingers, chest marred by his big brothers teeth, "Please...!" he grinds out, "Please, Dick..."

"Okay, okay..." Those fingers slide out of him and he waits, shivering with anticipation and the sweat drying on his skin until he feels the head of Dick's cock push against his rim. "I've got you, Jay."

Jason looks up to see Dick's face just above his own, lips pursed in concentration as he eases in and he can't resist leaning up, fighting against where his shirt restrains his arms to his sides to kiss that look off Dick's face. The burn of his brother's cock sliding in is familiar and good even though most times they don't get this far, settling for the speed of using hands and mouths instead but today is different. Today Dick had that look on his face when he got in the car that told Jason he was getting fucked, making him clutch his backpack that much harder during the short ride from the school gates to their secret spot.

"Fuck," he hears Dick mutter, breaking the kiss as he bottoms out, in Jason as far as he can go and the boy takes the chance to wrap his legs around his brother's back, hooking them together at the ankle, "Fuck..." His hand wraps around Jason's cock and gives it a slow pump, another as the Jason shakes and gasps.

"Dick move, please. Please, Dick!" he fails not to beg, trying to rock his hips up into Dick's hand and back onto his cock. Jason has to fight not to sob at how little leverage he has.

"Shh," Dick's brushes his free hand through his mussed up curls, soothing him before he sets it to Jason's hip and braces against him for the slow withdrawal and subsequent thrust back in. "I've got you, I've..." he breaks off as he moans and Jason watches Dick's eyes close, his lips pulling back over perfect white teeth. 

There's always a pattern to the way Dick fucks him. He tries to start off slow, take his time and make it last for both of them but inevitably his own impatience and need for release will win out. Dick growls each and every time he hits the point of losing it, fingers and hips stuttering just before the drawn-out pace snaps into a harder rhythm.

Jason doesn't care because he's the same way, it drives him crazy when Dick tries to go slow and he always ends up pleading and goading him onwards, trying to fray the control he has until it breaks and they get to the part Jason loves best. This part, the time when Dick stops pretending and just fucks into him, hips moving in ragged desperate thrusts that tell Jason how much he wants him, needs him and that's the best feeling he's ever known.

He screams then, when Dick's hand tightens around his prick enough to push him over the edge, semen splattering over tanned fingers and both their stomachs. Jason doesn't even mind that he came first because it means he can lie supine under his brother, basking in the feeling of his orgasm and the way Dick moves in him; it means he can watch his face, focus on everything Dick is and marvel that he's really here with Jason when he could have anyone.

Jason's seen the sort of friends Dick has. Women so beautiful it makes him never want to look at another porn mag again and men almost as handsome as he is, but instead of them he's here with Jason, he's here with his scrawny little adopted brother and it's times like these that all the bad in Jason's life falls away, leaving him feeling like he's without a care in the world because Dick wants _him_.

It only takes a few more minutes for Dick to come after that, his brother fucking hard into him until he's half-collapsed on top of Jason with his face pressed against the boy's hair as he pants, "Little wing..."

"Dick." Jason touches his still clothed shoulders - Dick hadn't removed his shirt, only unbuttoned it - and holds him while he gets his breath back. If he could he'd keep him like this forever between his thighs, but eventually they have to pull apart and Dick is the one to lean across the seats to grab a packet of tissues from the glove compartment, using them to clean Jason up before helping him tug his clothes back on. The interior of the car stinks of sex and sweat now, which is going to take a little more work to get out.

Awkwardly they make the climb back into the front seats, where Jason promptly distracts himself by rubbing at the windows to clear them of the condensation that had built up from their fucking, squinting afterwards at the faint outline of his own reflection in the glass. His attempts to smooth down his rumpled curls into some semblance of order are without success.

"So..." he asks, waiting until Dick's got the car started. "What's up?"

"Hm?" Dick pulls them out of the lot and back onto the road, distractedly fiddling with the radio until he finds a station playing something he likes.

Jason asks again, wishing he could smoke a cigarette except Dick would kill him for having them at all, let alone lighting one up in his car. "I said, what's up. You seem kind of off today." He doesn't have to see the way Dick's fingers tighten around the steering wheel to know he's right.

"Nothing, nothing just..." His brother sighs, sparing him a glance before focusing his eyes back on the road. "I've got to go away for a while."

That gets Jason's attention, has him sitting up straight against the hold of the seatbelt and feeling the residual ache in his ass from being fucked that bit more. "What! For how long?"

"Not sure, could be a month, maybe two."

"Oh..." Just like that his good mood starts to fade and Jason slumps back down against the seat, sliding his feet forwards under the dash as he stares out of the windscreen. He's used to Dick being gone but usually it's never more than a couple of weeks, so in contrast two months feels like it would be forever."Is it important?"

"Pretty important." Dick replies, sincere regret etched into his face, "I wouldn't go otherwise, little wing, you know I wouldn't."

"Yeah," He mumbles, trying to keep the bitterness from seeping into his voice, "I know."

"Hey..." His brother waits until Jason's looking at him again to continue talking, "I know it sounds a long time but I'll be back before you know it." Dick's trying to smile reassuringly, fighting to keep the cracks from showing, "And I'm counting on you to look after Bruce and Alfred for me while I'm gone."

Jason snorts, like those two need him to watch out for them but Dick's trying, he really is, so Jason should try too, even if it feels like it's killing him inside. "Yeah, okay I guess. You better bring me back something cool to make up for it, though."

"You got it." He feels Dick reach over and squeeze high up on his thigh with his right hand, letting it linger there for a few seconds longer than is strictly necessary. "You want to stop off and grab a milkshake before we head back to the manor? My treat."

"To cover up that we were fucking? You want Alfred to complain about you ruining my appetite instead of sodomising me, huh." Jason smirks when Dick splutters and reddens like he always does when he says it so blatantly. "You okay there, Big Bird?"

"Yeah smartass, I'm fine." Dick coughs, "You're such an asshole sometimes, you know?" 

"You still love me, though." He laughs as his brother makes the turn towards McDonald's, still blushing while shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"Don't know why, but yeah, damn it, I do."

Jason wants to kiss him then for the easy way he admits it, but there's people on the sidewalk and the windows of the car are crystal clear; it'd only take one enterprising teenager with a phone to ruin everything for them. So instead he contents himself with a chocolate shake and poking fun at Dick's terrible renditions of the peppy pop songs that play on the radio as they drive home, until he can almost forget anything was said about him going away in the first place.

At the manor Alfred scolds them as soon as he see's the drink in Jason's hand, assuming that Dick had taken him for something to eat and not just a milkshake as explanation for how late they are getting back. They don't say anything to dissuade him of the notion, Dick sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck in a way that's not entirely faked, and later Jason takes care to prove the butler's worries about his appetite invalid by eating every single bite of his dinner while Dick and Bruce talk shop at the head of the table. He is after all a growing boy, it's not that unbelievable that he could manage two evening meals.

It's an exercise in patience that he doesn't have afterwards to wait for it to be late enough that he can believably turn in for the night. There's simply no distraction good enough to keep Jason's mind where he wants it to be, away from the future and in the present. Bruce makes a comment and he brushes it off, promises it's nothing as he tries not to react visibly to the look Dick gives him when their father's back is turned.

He's fine, of course he is.

But, when all is said and done, Jason will still take the risk of sneaking into Dick's room, sliding under the blankets so he can curl up to his brother's chest not for sex but just to feel his arms around him and listen to the sound of his heartbeat. He'll try not to think about the weeks of separation ahead, try to pretend there's no time that they ever need to be apart or act like there's nothing between them.

It's better that way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's still no happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was never meant to have a second chapter, but then this happened. Oh these boys :(

"I wonder why you never picked me up from school on one of these."

There's a dull roar in Dick's ears, a washed out scream locked in his throat as he looks at the ghost in his garage. 

Jason Todd is leaning back against his motorcycle, all long muscled limbs and a cocky smirk, feet crossed at the ankles as his hands rest on the bike's seat. His eyes are bright, greener than they were, and too knowing for his own good. "Well actually, we both know why, don't we, Dickie?"

"Jason."

"What happened to that car anyway? I'm probably a bit too big for the back seat now, but you know," he makes a crude motion with his hands. " _Nostalgia_."

He's trying not to choke on air as he answers, sliding his keys between his fingers in case this comes to a fight. Dick's not stupid or blind, he knows what happened in Gotham after he left. "I sold it."

"Sold it." Jason repeats after him, tone mocking, except that he glances down with what Dick thinks, wants to think, is sadness in his eyes before they harden again. "Of course you fucking sold it. Needed to get rid of all the evidence, huh? Probably did it the moment you got back to Earth and found me in my grave."

"That's not it, Jay." He'd broken down when he found out who was behind the garish red helmet, dropped the phone as soon as Bruce had hung up without so much as a curt 'good bye' and sank down onto the bedroom floor to press the heels of his palms against his eyes. Jason Todd, his little brother, was alive and killing people.

Dick tightens the grip he has on his keys as Jason pushes off the bike to stalk slowly towards him. They're the only weapon other than his bare fists that he has, since he wasn't actually expecting anyone to ambush him down here ( _Sloppy_ Bruce's voice speaks inside his head, like he should have been expecting Jason to come for him next) but the same isn't true for Jason. Jason has two guns that he can see and at least one knife. "You sure? Because I seem to remember you always felt so bad about needing to fuck me, though never enough to actually stop while I was alive."

"No!" Dick isn't going to let himself be intimidated here, even though Jason's sprung up what must be a foot in height since he died, tall enough now to have at least a couple inches on his big brother. "Christ, no. I sold it because I missed you." 

"You missed me?" he hates how sceptical Jason sounds, the words accompanied by a cruel twist of his mouth. 

"Of course I missed you, Jason. God, you meant the world to me." Dick swallows, shaking his head in dismay, "And looking at that car every day was a reminder that you were gone, that I'd never see you again." 

"This must be a real kick in the teeth for you then." Jason stops a foot in front of him, hands making a show of settling on his hips, "Shocker Dick! You could've kept the old bird after all, but hey, I'm sure we could improvise if you still wanna go." He jerks his thumb back over his shoulder at the bike and Dick hates himself for the short stab of arousal in his stomach that follows after.

He can't do that, can't just go back to how things were, even if he thought Jason was being serious and not just yanking his chain. "Jason." He needs to try, better than Bruce did by the sound of things. "What happened to you?"

"I died. Didn't you get the memo? Little place called Ethiopia, came free with warehouse, deadbeat mom, clown and crowbar, plus a couple pounds of explosive to -"

"Stop!" Dick can feel the keys cutting into the flesh of his hand. He feels like he's going to throw up. "Jesus, Jason, _stop_. I'm trying to be serious here."

"You think I'm not?" Jason snarls at him, switching from mocking to furious fast enough to give Dick whiplash, "I fucking died and you have the audacity to ask what happened to me?! Isn't that enough?! I died and none of you fuckers even cared, not Bruce, not you. You left me unavenged, forgot me as quick as a lost toy when you got something shiny and new in my place." His smile is vicious, eyes blazing with savage light, "Does the new kid fuck as good as I did, Dick? Did he take that from me too?"

Dick hits him. Hits so fast that he takes himself by surprise when he realises Jason is stumbling back a pace and reaching up to touch the new cut in his lip.

"Christ..." Jason starts to laugh, wiping blood over the back of his hand and looking at Dick appraisingly. "Guess I know what it takes to get a reaction out of you now."

"What do you want, Jason?" He asks flatly, already tired and so, so not ready to deal with this. If he ever could be ready. "Why are you here?"

The reaction isn't what he expects, completely at odds with how Jason's acted so far. For a moment Dick thinks he glimpses the boy he used to know in the awkward shuffle of feet, the hunched up shoulders and the way Jason can't seem to meet his eyes. "Maybe I missed you too, Dickiebird."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"So do you." The accusation is there again, vicious, hurt and broken. "I know now I should have expected it of B, but not you. I thought - I thought you'd maybe have the balls to prove my life was worth more than that freaks. Like what we had meant something to you."

"What we had meant everything to me, Jason." Dick protests. "God, I - you don't know what it was like after you died."

"Then tell me, Dick. What was it like, what excuses you sitting on your ass when it came to the Joker?"

"I didn't." And oh, it's an admittance Dick didn't intend to make, a buried secret of just how close he'd come to crossing the line before Bruce pulled him back. He can see in Jason's face the confusion, the puzzlement over his words. Jason cocks his head like a dog, just the way he did when he was only a kid and still trying to figure out the finer points of professional vigilantism.

Dick reaches up and rubs his face with his non-key bearing hand, shuddering. "I didn't. The Joker, I - I almost killed him. A couple years after you were - he used your name, your _name_ to get at me. He taunted me and I just lost it... Bruce saved him. Got him breathing again, but he wasn't for a time."

When he looks at Jason again his little brother's eyes are wide, staring. There's something new and familiar flickering to life on his face, a hunger Dick dimly recognises.

"Dick..." Jason closes in on him again, one step, two. Dick stares, wary until Jason's sinking down on his knees in front of him. "Dick."

Big hands grip his hips, startling in their size, before Jason's pressing his head against Dick's stomach, eyes closed and his mouth a hairs breadth from his crotch. Dick feels sick with himself for thinking about that. "Jason, please."

"Bruce saved him." Jason's mumbling against the top of his jeans, "He saved that freaks life. Keeps saving his life and over. He should let him die."

"It would destroy him, Jay. It would have destroyed me." The way Blockbuster's death had for a time, even though it hadn't been Dick's finger on trigger. His own inaction, his _choice_ , had paved the way for a guilt he'll carry with him his entire life.

Jason makes a sound like a dying animal, shaking his head. Dick wonders just how much blood there is on his hands now, how many lives he's taken. "Jay..."

"He'll keep killing. He'll keep killing over and over," Jason rasps, his lips brushing against denim, slipping lower to mouth over the rough fabric covering Dick's cock. "How many innocent people have to lose their lives because Batman can't do the right thing? Because he can't even let someone else do it."

"Jason stop." Dick puts his hand in Jason's hair, finger pushing at dark curls, thumb catching at the white lock of hair that spills over Jason's forehead. "Stop."

There's teeth pulling down his zipper, Jason's hands big and powerful on his hips as they drag Dick forwards. " _Dick_." It's a plea in itself and Dick -

\- Dick _can't._

"Stop!" It hurts to force Jason away, to twist out of his grip. Dick can't do this, he can't let Jason just slip back into his life like nothing happened, no matter how much he wants to. "We can't - Jay, this isn't right."

The naked broken expression on Jason's face at the rejection stabs into his heart. "Fuck you, Dickiebird." His brother laughs bitterly, touching his mouth again, swiping at the still bleeding cut on his bottom lip before lurching back up onto his feet. "Fuck you." 

"It's not too late." He tries, "Just come home, Jason, let us help you." Dick holds out his hand beseechingly. He needs to believe there's still something of the boy he loved inside this damaged young man. "Please, come home."

"And toe the line? That's a no can do." Jason shakes his head. "I'm too far gone, Dickie. You don't know half the shit I've done. What happened in Gotham? Tip of the fucking iceberg."

"I don't believe that." Dick can't believe it. There's no one beyond saving, especially not family. 

"Jason," he asks then, because he can't help himself. "Why didn't you come to me first?"

"You know why."

Because Dick could have stopped him. Because Dick, out of anyone, would have had a chance at talking sense into Jason, back before he began his vengeful rampage. Yeah, he knows. "Jay -"

"You made your choice, Dick, and I've made mine." His little brother, grown tall as their mutually adoptive father, says, stepping backwards. "This has been fun and all, but I got better places to be. Things to do, scumbags to kill."

"If you try that here -"

"I know. You'll stop me. Blah, blah, blah."

Dick watches him move towards the exit, fighting the urge to reach out and pull Jason back towards him. He wants to hold him close, keep him at his side no matter what it is Jason has done, or will do, but he _can't_. They're both bound by the men they have chosen to be, and Dick will never be able to condone the things Jason has done.

"Little wing."

Jason hesitates at the use of that old nickname, uttered in lieu of the words Dick really means to say. The whole of his body leans back towards Dick, and for a moment he almost believes there's a chance Jason will stop. "Yeah." Is what he eventually says. "Yeah, I know."

Then he leaves, and Dick, Dick lets him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I set out to write this as a normal, no superheroes AU, then got caught on the idea of it being the last time Dick and Jason were together before Dick went off to space and Jason was murdered. So since I'm indecisive I tried to make it ambiguous enough that it could be read either way, depending on reader preference XD


End file.
